Fred Gross Stories

By Ring Lardner.

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Own Your Own Home

Chicago, May 3—

Brother Charley. I bet when you here what I & Grace has made up our minds you & Mary will wisht you was doing the same thing or may be you will follow our exampel & do the same thing & I hope you will because its the only way to live when you got childern.

Charley we made up our minds to buy a place some wheres out in the subburbs & build a house not a grate big house of corse but a house where a man can move a round in with out bumping in to the walls all the wile and have enough ground so the childern wont half to be cooped up all the day like in a flat but can run around & get some exxersise.

The other day the Walters come to see us & stayed all p.m. & little Ed & the baby both of them hollered all the wile they was there & when the Walters had went I says to Grace its a bout time you lerned them babys to shut there mouth when we got Co. & says I can’t do nothing with them because there cooped up in the flat all day & dont never get out & how can you expect them to be nothing but cross & mean all the wile. She says you are makeing good money now & I dont see why is it we cant find a place out in the country some wheres & live there & it wouldent take you no longer to get to work then it does now with this rotten L servus.

So I says well when our lease runs out in Oct. I will look a round in some of them subburbs & see can we rent a house reasonible or may be we can buy a little 1 on payments. Then Grace says lets buy a lot some wheres & build our own house & I says what do you think I am rockefellow & she says no but you dont half to be rockefellow to build a house now days because you can borry the money & pay it back a little to a time & just like paying rent only your getting more for your money. Then she says and besides I got $500 in the bank that you can take & how much you got in the bank your self. I had got out my bank book & seen where I had a bout $300 & with her $500 that makes a bout $800 & we can get a nice lot some wheres for that amt. & then pay for the house by the mo. & build a bungello say costing $1,200 and have it all payed for in 1 yr. by paying $25 per wk. & meen time we can live on $25 per wk. & cut down on cloths & nickle shows & groserys.

I am going to get off tomorrow p.m. and Annies comeing over to look out for the babys while I & Grace gos to 1 of the subburbs & we are going to look them all over 1 to a time before we chose the 1 we want so it may be will be 2 or 3 mos. before I can write & tell you where are we going to locat at. But now I cant hardly wait till we got our lot & started to build our bungello because a man aint realy liveing when he is liveing in a flat & espeshaly when youve got childern. You better get busy Charley & get in to the game.

Kindest to Mary.

Fred A. Gross.

Chicago, May 5—

Brother Charley. I dident think I would be writeing you this news so quick but we got our lot all ready & its out to Allison 16 mi. west of the Loop on the c d & x & it dont only take 40 min. for the trains to come in to town & it takes me 35 min. now to go in on the L. We was going to look over all the subburbs but Allison was the 1st 1 on the list & Grace got stuck on it right a way & so did I & we went a round with the real estate man & he showed us some swell lots & 1 that you couldent get a way from because it was big & roomy & 3 big trees on it that the real estate man says is maple & a real bargun because its 100 ft. frontidge & 150 ft. deep & only $1,500 & we can pay for it when ever we get ready provideing its in side of 2 yrs. & thats easy.

I had $100 a long with me when we went out & when I seen what a bargun we was gettin & the real estate man says we better hurry if we wanted it because some body else was libel to see it & cop it out so I give the real estate man the $100 to bind the bargun & he is going to get the papers fixed up today & then I will give him the other $700 we got saved in the bank & then we can borry the money to build the bungello & pay that back a mo. at a time & finnish up paying for the lot after words. We figure that in 2 yrs. we will be all cleaned up & have our own home & not be worring a bout no rent onct a mo. & they’ll be room for the kids to play a round all day with out no danger of them being ran over by a st. car or some thing.

I got a date with the real estate man to get the papers fixed up & must hurry down town. You better get busy Charley & get in to the game.

Kindest to Mary.

Fred A. Gross.

Chicago, May 7—

Dear Charley. Well Charley I guess I was in to much of a hurry & it dont look now like we would start building this summer but will half to wait till later on. I dident know how they done them things but found out that theys a lot of red tape & you cant do them things in no hurry like I thot. The real estate man dident have no papers fixed up the day before yest. like he promused but had them fixed up yest. & he give me the warranty deed or what ever it is they call it & I give him my note for $700 for the rest of what we owe on the lot & the notes for 2 yrs. with 6% int. per annum & all so cost me $25 to get what they call a garantee polisy from the title & trust Co. which garantees that the title is OK & they cant no body take the lot a way from me un less I dont pay up the bal. which of corse I will pay up as soon is posable.

Well after this was fixed up I went a round to the bank where I had my saveings at & went to the real estate dept. & seen the man there and asked him did they make building lones & the man says yes. Well I says I want to borry $1,200 to build a bungello out to Allison & he says do you own a lot & I says yes & he says let me take a look at your papers so I show him my papers & he says yes you own a lot all but paying $700 more on it. I says yes but I own it because there is the deed & the garantee polisy & when I get threw paying you back what you lone me to build the house I will pay off the bal. on the lot & he says o no you wont because we dont do no busness that way & 1st you got to pay off what you owe on the lot & then may be we can fix it up a bout a building lone but I wont promus nothing. Well I argude with him but nothing doing & when I come home & told Grace I thot shed cry her eyesout but finely we seen they wasent no use in that so all we can do now is save up & pay off the $700 we still owe on the lot & then we can start building & meen time we can be planing the bungello & we figure that we can save $30 per wk. in sted of $25 if we live pretty clost & can have the lot payed for in less than 6 mos. & that will be in Nov. & we can be all ready to start building & get the foundashun layed before real cold weather & then the carpenters can finnish up dureing the winter & we can be in the house next spring & we will half to renew our lease for 6 mos. but we dont care nothing a bout that because it aint so bad liveing in a flat dureing winter when the kids couldent be out much any way.

Kindest rgds. to Mary.

F. A. Gross.

Chicago, Nov. 2—