The Demi-Gods

By James Stephens.

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To
Thomas Bodkin

The Demi-Gods

Book I

Patsy Mac Cann

I

“Will you leave that donkey alone,” said Patsy Mac Cann to his daughter. “I never heard the like of it,” he continued testily. “I tell you the way you do be going on with the ass is enough to make a Christian man swear, so it is.”

“You let me be,” she replied. “If I was doing hurt or harm to you I wouldn’t mind, and if I am fond of the ass itself what does it matter to anybody?”

“It’s this way, that I don’t like to see a woman kissing an ass on the snout, it’s not natural nor proper.”

“A lot you know about natural and proper. Let you leave me alone now; and, besides that, doesn’t the ass like it?”

“That’s not a reason; sure it doesn’t matter in the world what an ass likes or dislikes, and, anyhow, an ass doesn’t like anything except carrots and turnips.”

“This one does,” said she stoutly.

“And a body might be kissing an ass until the black day of doom and he wouldn’t mind it.”

“This one minds.”

“Kissing an old ass!”

“One has to be kissing something.”

“Let you kiss me then and get done with it,” said he.

She regarded him in amazement.

“What would I kiss you for? Sure you’re my father, and aren’t you as old as the hills?”

“Well, well, you’re full of fun, and that’s what I say. Take the winkers off that donkey’s face, and let him get a bit to eat; there’s grass enough, God knows, and it’s good grass.”

Mary busied herself with the winkers and the bit while her father continued:

“What I wish is this, that Christian people were able to eat grass like the beasts, and then there wouldn’t be any more trouble in the world. Are you listening to me, Mary, or are you listening to the donkey?”

“It’s you I’m listening to.”

“I say this, that if every person had enough to eat there’d be no more trouble in the world and we could fight our fill. What have you got in the basket?”