She Stoops to Conquer

Prologue

By David Garrick, Esq.

Excuse me, sirs, I pray—I can’t yet speak—
Excuse me, sirs, I pray—I can’t yet speak—
I’m crying now—and have been all the week!
“ ’Tis not alone this mourning suit,” good masters;
“I’ve that within”—for which there are no plasters!
Pray, would you know the reason why I’m crying?
The Comic Muse, long sick, is now a-dying!
And if she goes, my tears will never stop;
For as a player, I can’t squeeze out one drop;
I am undone, that’s all—shall lose my bread—
I’d rather, but that’s nothing—lose my head.
When the sweet maid is laid upon the bier,
Shuter and I shall be chief mourners here.
To her a mawkish drab of spurious breed,
Who deals in sentimentals, will succeed.
Poor Ned and I are dead to all intents;
We can as soon speak Greek as sentiments!
Both nervous grown, to keep our spirits up,
We now and then take down a hearty cup.
What shall we do? If Comedy forsake us,
They’ll turn us out, and no one else will take us.
But why can’t I be moral?—Let me try:
My heart thus pressing—fixed my face and eye—
With a sententious look, that nothing means,
(Faces are blocks in sentimental scenes),
Thus I begin—“All is not gold that glitters,
Pleasure seems sweet, but proves a glass of bitters.
When Ignorance enters, Folly is at hand;
Learning is better far than house and land.
Let not your virtue trip; who trips may stumble,
And virtue is not virtue, if she tumble.”